Investors, I Have a Serious Awesome Idea

I have a completely serious proposal that could do good for people and make someone some money (….and that might be the most American thing I’ve ever written). Here’s my vision: facilities modeled on health clubs that are specifically targeted to people (including but not limited to the elderly) with chronic pain, mobility, and mental health issues.There are three health clubs in my not-affluent town all competing for the market of the physically fit and exercise oriented, while another demographic is offered no services.These facilities would be membership-based and would be attractive for people who need to get out of the house and relax, but whose issues make the traditional clanky, loud, screaming décor, industrial design of a gym completely awful. Modeled partially on the idea of the public baths and saunas of Europe and the Middle East, these facilities would be soothing and focused on the needs of people with limited mobility. The goal would be stress relief through completely simple physical support, including nice low-light rooms with aromatherapy, heated lounges, nice towels, and views onto natural environments. A range of options would allow people with a range of challenges to have the social interaction so necessary for health in an environment built for them. Medical waivers would protect against liability, and additional revenue could be generated by offering newsletters in which traditional and alternative healthcare providers could advertise their services to this targeted market. (See? I can totally talk the talk).The health outcomes of greater socializing, stress relief, and even connection with healthcare services would make these facilities attractive to health insurance companies, who might offer their patients premiums and discounts if they were to join and use such a facility.Features:

  • Low-key yoga and balance classes, tai chi, etc.
  • Saunas, hot tubs, steam rooms for heat therapy
  • Treadmills
  • Mats for stretching
  • Benches for just sitting around
  • Quiet
  • Childcare
  • Soothing music and rooms with no music
  • Rooms for meditation or just chilling out

About me: I’m a good writer who has been marinating in corporate language and mindsets for 16 years (i.e. in higher education). So I know the lingo about synergy and stakeholders. I could sell you my idea or consult. I’m totally serious. I have tons of ideas and I’m even sometimes funny. Admit it: this is brilliant. One of these should be in every town including mine.

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On Wanting, Shame, and Artistic Ambition